MENTORS

It is more appropriate for a mentor to act as a resource broker and show the mentee how to access the services and resources he needs, rather than to personally provide those services.

If you're interested in becoming a Pathways Danbury mentor, please read the information below and on the Join page first. Then follow the application instructions found on the Join page.

How Mentoring Works:

In order for positive change to occur, the mentor and mentee need to form an emotional bond. If the emotional bond is not formed, the mentor and mentee may disengage from the match before the relationship lasts long enough to have a positive impact on the youth (Rhodes, 36). The emotional bond is formed through developing trust. This means both mentor and mentee feel understood, liked, and respected.

Research shows that strong bonds depend on the ability to understand and respond empathetically to others experiences (Rhodes, 37).

Bonds between mentors and mentees tend to deepen with time and consistency.

Longevity has been found to be critical to the development of high-quality mentoring relationships (DuBois & Karcher, 104).

Research shows that matches that engaged in social activities and shared in the decision-making process around what they would do together tended to have closer relationships (DuBois & Karcher, 104).

Participating in fun activities together is a key part of relationship building between the mentor and mentee.

One of the keys for at-risk youth to be resilient was that they had one adult outside their family that cared about them.[1]

A MENTOR IS…

A Trusted Guide or Friend:  Young people today do not get much of an opportunity to be friends with adults; especially adults who are going to listen to them.

A caring, responsible adult who provides access to people, places and things outside their mentee’s routine environment:  A mentor must first enter his mentee’s world in order to gain the right to introduce new experiences to the mentee.

A Positive Role Model, and More:  A mentor should be more than just a positive role model. While a positive role model is someone the youth aspires to be like, a mentor helps the youth identify his unique skill set in order to determine who the youth should be.

Key Qualities of a Good Mentor:

• Prayerful/Godly
• Good Listener
• Persistent
• Committed
• Patient

A MENTOR IS NOT…

Mentors must understand that they cannot be all things to their mentees. Quite often when mentors run into problems in their relationships, it is because the mentor, the mentee or the parent/legal guardian did not understand the proper role of a mentor. The mentor may have taken on one of the following inappropriate roles.

A Parent/Legal Guardian:  The role of the parent/legal guardian (governed by law) is to provide food, shelter, and clothing. It is not the mentor’s role to fulfill these responsibilities. If the mentor believes his mentee is not receiving adequate support, he should contact the program coordinator rather than trying to meet the needs of his mentee.

A Social Worker:  A social worker is a licensed professional with the necessary skills and training to assist in family issues. If a mentor believes there is something wrong with the mentee’s home life, the mentor should share his concern with the program coordinator and not assume the role of a social worker and attempt to solve the problem.

A Psychologist:  A mentor is not a formal “counselor” or therapist. A psychologist or psychiatrist is a licensed professional.

[1] Material provided by Christian Association of Youth Mentoring.